What is happiness?

Have you ever really sat down and thought about the things that make you happy? Or how about the things that make other people happy? For some people it is money, big houses, nice cars, new clothes and anything expensive. For some people it’s family, friends, or food, maybe even sleep. However, for me it’s the little things, the small, unnoticed things by most people.

When it rains, but not a light rain. A downpour. That moment right before it’s going to downpour, is pure beauty and happiness to me. So silent, so peaceful, so calm. But once it starts, all I want to do is run outside in my bathing suit and run around. 

I guess what  really defines my happiness is being a little kid again. I love Disney movies, and taking naps. If I could spend all day napping and snuggling with any boy, I would be happy for a year. Happiness is stolen glances between a girl and a boy. That little smile they give and the nervous laugh of the look away. Happiness is slow sweet kisses. Hand brushes. Playing with someone’s hair. Having someone play with your hair. Sleep. Long hot showers. Fresh air. Going for a walk with friends. Happiness is spending time with my family. Marking something off of a To-do list. Cleaning. Diving head first into the ice cold water. Going to bed early. Bear hugs. Sweatpants. Good night or Good morning texts. Singing in my car. Dancing in my underwear. Long drives to no where. Soccer. Spending time with people who make me feel loved. Laughing till I cry. The sayings on dove chocolate wrappers. Smiling at strangers. Making someone’s day. Sleepovers with friends. Sleepovers with cute boys. Making a good first impression. Letting go of the stupid stuff. Moving on. 

Take a moment and sit down. Turn off the TV, turn off the computer, put down the phone. Look around. What really makes you happy? Well whatever it is, grab it and cherish it. Remember how fast you could lose it. Happiness isn’t the big and glamorous, it’s the appreciated and the small things.

Is it bad to make two posts in one day? Oh well I’m always one for breaking rules and standing out. Today has been one of the longest days of my life.

1. The boy I like, does not like me at all.
2. My now non-best friend will not let our friendship go and is holding on to the nothing I let go of months ago.
3. My new nephew is having trouble breathing.
4. My best friend is a rock.

1. It has happen to all of us, if you say it hasn’t you are lying. That one person you think about but you convince yourself that you do not like, but in the end you like them anyway. For some reason that always happens to me. I tell myself this is different this is strictly just friends, with maybe a few benefits. Horrible for someone my age to be talking about right? But for some reason I’m always in this situation. The situation where it’s me, a boy and a sticky situation (when I say sticky I mean a lot of things..) How do you fix this type of situation? If you figure it out please let me know because for some reason I always lose out to my insecurities.  

2. What do you say to a friend when your friendship is over? It’s like breaking up with your boyfriend or girlfriend, “Well, shit’s been real, gotta go?” How do you mend the break so that the other person understands that you understand their pain but they need to understand yours? I just wish the world was full of truth. A place where no one can lie. There’s a movie about it, The Invention of Lying or something along those lines. People are either really happy or really sad, but the thing is everyone tells the truth and no one lies. I want my life to be like that.

3. Do you believe in God? Don’t tell me if you do not feel comfortable, just a simple question. The thing is, your going to be thinking of that question all day, all week, all month… I bet you’ve never questioned for faith before have you? Well right now I’m about to. This God that everyone is so consumed with, what does he do for you? Give you something to believe in, help you get through grief/loss/sadness, help you understand life? I thought I believed in him, the thing is now I don’t. Why is it that he lets good things happen to bad people and bad things happen to good people? My brother and sister in law are wonderful people, however they just had twins boys, two beautiful boys. Yet, one of them is having trouble. He is doing good now, however he started off struggling. Why? Why did God have to do this? He controls things doesn’t he? I want a simple answer as to why he does the things he does.

4. My rock.  She’s been there for the past five years listening to all my issues/problems/flaws and I’ve been there for her. We may gave drifted but now we’re closer than ever. I would never trade her not even for the world. And in about five months, she is traveling from one side of the country to the other for at least two years, maybe forever… I want nothing but the best for her and I hope that everything she has planned and anything she has dreamed happens for her. She’s been through a lot in life and she deserves to be happy. She has some problems much like everyone else in life, but no matter what happens, she’s always smiling. I hope to be like her one day, I hope I am able to keep it together and smile all the time and just be happy. I hope she knows what she does for me is more than I could ever even ask for. I love her to the moon and back. She’s where I get my strength when I’m feeling down and on cue can say the most idiotic things that make me laugh uncontrollably. 

I have a lot of feelings and thoughts I guess. Don’t hate me for being so honest.